| MOSCOW, Reuters - Russian leader displays his own sluggish reaction time by revealing his throw too early. Clinton's confidence is displayed by his pro-active clipping of Yeltsin's paper. Photo courtesy of Sadie Broadwick (External Affairs Committee Chair) |
NB. All reports have led us to believe that the above RPS match was indeed only for honour
The debate over the existence of dynamite has probably been the single most heated discussions for novice players. The answer is acutally quite simple:
Dynamite is infeasible within the Rock, Paper and Scissors Trinity.
The answer lies in simple mathematics. Compare these handy tables:
Classic RPS (Blue Vs. Red)
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RPS with Dynamite (Blue Vs. Red)
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Note: Please excuse the use of the Blinking tag, but given the seriousness of the misconseption, I felt its use was justified.
As should be obvious from the above table, no one has yet discovered the result from a meeting of Dynamite and Paper. The leading opposing theories include the "Paper snuffs out wick" or "Wick burns through Paper." However, the World RPS Executive Committee has not ruled on the issue and still remains the most divisive issue in theoretical RPS. Should the issue ever actually be decided one way or the other, the result would be "explosive", as it would completely change the dynamic of the game. Picture Dynamite thrown; this would result in a throw that potentially loses more often than it wins, or vice versa. Furthermore, it changes the dynamics of the other throws as well making Rock a loser more often than a winner and Scissors more often a winner than a loser, statistically speaking that is. To sum up, the former World RPS Executive Vice-Chair of Theoretical Throws (a well known Dynamite opponent) is still the most often quoted source for the Anit-Dynamite faction:
| "The misconception of Dynamite still hangs above RPS games like a great Death's Head, forcing otherwise reasonable RPS players into a whirling vortex of circular arguments. Let it be known that The World RPS Society does not now, nor has it ever condoned the use of Dynamite in professional matches." |
Singlis Martok, Executive VC of Theoretical Throws:
as quoted in the RPS Annual,1945.
Contributed by RPS Grand Master and freelance Zen Theologian, Kosaku Yamamoto of Atlanta, Georgia.
Most of the power from this tactic stems from the ability to clear your mind by chanting when throwing paper. You can either do this internally or out loud. I find that vocalizing your chanting actually adds to the effectiveness of this strategy because your opponent is temporarily bewildered by your weirdness and sometimes throws rock as an instinctive defensive reaction to your bizarre noises just in case he/she has to use the rock (fist) to "pop you one" in the event you freak out. (Oh those simpletons.)
Another way to use the instinctive reaction to your advantage is to modify the actual way you throw as in the "blade to eye defense" tactic. In this method, you throw an aggressive "scissors" at about the eye level of your opponent who instinctively may try to "block" what he may perceive as your attempt to "poke him in the eyes with your fingers". His/her block will usually take the form of an open hand covering eyes (palm open toward you) or a stiff open hand (fingers together) placed horizontally along the bridge of the nose in an attempt to parry the anticipated eye poke (a move immortalized by the Three Stooges - little known fact). In any event, you may then quite fairly deem both of these hand gestures their "throws" of paper which of course, are beaten by your scissors. This move is often met with heated controversy and you may have to go so far as to remind the opponent of the undisputed precedent set by the changing of the Catholic church's stance on cruelty to plants through use of lesser grade "K-Mart" fertilizer. Bob Dooby (K-Mart's rock paper scissor master) decisively defeated an unprepared Pope utilizing this method and was granted victory by an impartial judge from Switzerland - forcing the Catholic church to acknowledge the quality of K-Mart brand plant food.
