Roshambollah joins RVC

[RPS News Service]

TORONTO, APR 20.  Master Roshambollah of Washington, DC, a longtime promotor of RPS orthodoxy, became an At-Large Member of the Retired Veterans Committee, the first of the new millenium.  In his acceptance speech, Roshambollah referred to himself as a "humble toiler in the fields of RPS, and moral, too."

Early Wednesday morning, the ceremonial burning of the ballots on the roof of the Trinity Building was observed.  Within minutes, Roshambollah made an appearance on the roof of the Trinity Building before a crowd of about a dozen and made a ceremonial throw of paper to signify the tone of his tenure.  The remaining members of the RVC remained inside the Trinity Building, hastily scooping up remnants of the catered continental breakfast.

"My fellow Society members," Roshambollah addressed the crowd, "I have been selected to join the most august and revered body of the Retired Veterans Committee, as an At Large Member."  

Roshambollah continued, "I regret the passing of the great Simon Watson, Sr., and will do my best to preserve his legacy.  Work with what you've got.  Think Three.  Peace out."

Roshambollah is the International Head of the Outreach Ministry, and an Ambassador of the World RPS Society.  He is 34.

In Roshambollah's hometown of Washington DC, a room full of Jr. RPSters jumped up and down, cheered and clapped as the news was announced.

"It's fantastic that it's Master Roshambollah. I met him once before and I found him really nice,'' said "Kid123", 17, who is a Junior Director of the Greater DC Jr. RPSters.

It is assumed that on Thursday night the traditional harrowing induction ceremony will take place in the Trinity Building.  On Friday night there will be a reception in Washington, DC, open to any WRPSS member.

[James Hagherty]

Excuse the expletive, but holy ####! So much for tradition.

This is completely nuts, Rosh will have access to the innermost parts of the society.

I had really hoped that they would appoint/elect (however they do it) someone a little more, umm... conservative.

[Arbiter]

I agree, James.  More conservative, older, more experienced, less likely to rob the Society to take off on a cockamamy quest for useless RPS artifacts, etc.

Didn't the induction ceremony involve a ritual haircut with the oversized ceremonial scissors?  That's gonna be a trick.

[Rockefeller]

What exactly is an at-large memeber of the RVC? Is this full membership or some sort of rank that is for new young members?

As all other RVC members are kept away from media and such (at least they avoid publicity), will Rosh disappear from the bullboard and never be seen at tournaments?

[InsiderX]

Begin Transmission--

My sources report that in addition to the Roshambollah promotion to the RVC, there are further organizational announcements to come.

I found an online job listing for none other than Regional Executive Artistic Affairs! This implies that the previous holder of such title: Rockefeller, is out of a job! Who will replace him? My sources say that nobody has distinguished themself over the competition in the interview process, and that the search continues.

---A Retraction--- I must appologize for my report concerning the death of several WRPSS members. I was given eroneous information as an april fools prank. Those sources shall no longer be utilized. ---End Retraction

That is all.

[Rockefeller]

As always, you're way off base X. Yes, there are currently some organizational changes in the works here in AA, but I've in no way been fired.

That's all I'm at liberty to say, but look for a formal announcement soon.

Rockefeller