custardchuk vs martinburley

[martinburley]

I don't think it really matters if the Easter Bunny supplied the transcripts. It is what is contained in them that is relevant. This is a blatant attempt to muddy the waters.

How you acquired the transcripts is a highly pertinent piece of information. For example, if you actually believe the Easter Bunny provided you with the transcripts, that would cast doubt on your sanity and, by implication, your case.

You claim the transcripts are genuine records of communication between ScissorSista and myself. In that case, I see three possible ways that you could have acquired them:

(a) ScissorSista willingly provided them to you, directly or through an intermediary
(b) You, or an intermediary, obtained them from ScissorSista's email account without her permission
(c) You, or an intermediary, obtained them from my email account without my permission

Which is it?

I asked Master Rosh whether you'd mentioned anything to him about this since I anticipated you might be reluctant to reveal the answer yourself. We can let Arbiter rule whether my question to Rosh is allowable, if you like. Or, since you're here, you can save us the time by telling us yourself how you acquired the transcripts.

[custardchuk]

Hey buddy. I'm not on trial here. You are.

custardchuk

[martinburley]

Fine. I call you as material witness.

Now answer the question.

[martinburley]

Arbiter, just to let you know how the case for my defense is progressing: at this stage, once Master Roshambollah and custardchuk have answered my questions to them, I don't plan to call any other material witnesses.

I will however need to cross-examine ScissorSista after she's taken the stand for custardchuk. And I may also have further questions for custardchuk himself.

Cheers,

martinburley

[Master Roshambollah]

I don't remember whether or not custardchuk told me how he obtained the transcript.  I no longer have that message saved in my inbox, so I can't consult the original.  Sorry.

As far as all this "Easter Bunny" business, I'd appreciate it if you'd all keep that pagan claptrap out of the discussion.

[Arbiter]

It was not my intent to allow cross-examination at this point, Mr. Burley, although I don't believe I stated so explicitly.  Please refrain from directing further comments at opponents or witnesses at this time, however.  You have each stated your position, at present I am looking for anything which supports either case.  Rest assured, Mr. Burley; that which makes you suspicious has not escaped my notice either.

I would be interested in hearing testimony regarding the arrangments, procedures, and security at the MotBB Tournament.  And, of course, I am very interested in what Ms. Sista might have to say.  She seems to have been heavily quoted in the Chronicle, but I would prefer not to rely on that dubious publication for her official testimony.

Lastly, Custardchuk, no one is on trial here, per se.  This is a mediated dispute, not a criminal prosecution.  Just FYI.

[martinburley]

Apologies, Arbiter. I'll wait for the proper time to cross-examine custardchuk. (I asked custardchuk that question since I thought it was a legitimate question of custardchuk as a material witness, not a cross-examination.)

Two quotes I'd like to present as evidence (their relevance will become clear as the mediation progresses) are custardchuk's posts of February 06, 2007:

On a more unsettling note, the [RPSOZ] treasurer envisages a downturn in funding this year. Coupled with unexpected costs in research, development, litigation and corporate entertainment, we are bracing for a tough year financially.

and November 04, 2006:

What funds?

RPSOZ is lucky to cover the rent and my travel expenses with the proceeds from the chook raffles and lamington drives.

[custardchuk]

It was not my intent to allow cross-examination at this point, Mr. Burley, although I don't believe I stated so explicitly.

These proceedings will progress in three stages, following which if I require any additional information, I will make that known.

1) Opening Remarks
These are to establish the nature of the dispute and lay both positions on the table.

2) Witnesses and Material Evidence
Once I have read all opening remarks, each party will have the opportunity to present material evidence and call witnesses who may, at their own discression and without coaching from either party, post their remarks in this forum.  Character witnesses will not be permitted.  All testimony must be germane to the dispute at hand.

3) Rebuttal
Each party will then have the opportunity to counter the arguments set forth by the other party and any witnesses for the opposition.  This will be done as a single post rather than a drawn out back-and-forth debate.

I believe that you were as clear as one, two, three, Arbiter. I certainly took it as meaning I could not at this stage counter Burley's ramblings.

Lastly, Custardchuk, no one is on trial here, per se.  This is a mediated dispute, not a criminal prosecution.  Just FYI.

Point taken, sort of. The problem is that Burley is turning me into the criminal. I don't remember cheating at the MOtBB. As far as I can tell my integrity is not being challenged by anyone, except Burley.

I will confirm I passed the transcripts to Roshambollah. They were supplied to me by a third party, that was not ScissorSista. They were supplied conditional on anonymity and I would prefer to not have to expose my source publicly. I say again that where they come from is not relevant, it is what is contained within.
Should you deem it necessary however to establish the source, Arbiter, I would be prepared to supply the name to you confidentially. I cannot say how my source obtained the transcripts nor why she supplied them, only that when confronted with the transcripts, ScissorSista confirmed their authenticity.

I chose to send them to Roshambollah because I believe they exposed a nefarious plot to undermine my MOtBB campaign. I chose not to publish myself because I feared that doing so would be seen as sour grapes on my part. I left it to others to decide their worthiness.


regards
custardchuk

[custardchuk]

I call on ScissorSista as my next witness. I would like her to answer the following:

- Did she and Martin establish a "internet relationship" prior to or during the MOtBB's unbeknownst to custardchuk?.

- In her opinion was that relationship more than "friendly"?

- Who initiated the relationship?

- During that relationship did she and Martin exchange tools and information in order to defeat custardchuk at RPS?

- Was ScissorSista aware that Martin was already in a relationship with another person, as he claims, and did Martin make any attempt to make this clear to ScissorSista, as he also claims?

- Does ScissorSista acknowledge tha conversations as exposed in transcripts by Al Thorn, actually occured?

- Does she believe there is anything in the transcripts that was not uttered?

- Did Martin boast to ScissorSista of his subversion of other sporting clubs?

- Did her relationship with Martin change after publication of the transcripts. If so, how?

- Did ScissorSista receive payment in goods or kind from anyone to speak out? If not, what was her motivation for speaking out?

- Could she describe her relationship with 'Kelly' (not her real name)?

- Does ScissorSista believe Martin 'used' her to further his ambition to destroy custardchuk and subvert the MotBB?

- Does ScissorSista believe she was 'cheated' by Martin?

- What is her relationship with Martin now?

I expect the answers to the above will shed some light on the whole sorry affair.

Arbiter, I would ask that you offer ScissorSista some protection from Burley during this process. She has already suffered anough at his hands and reliving the heartbreak will be difficult enough without Burley sniping at her.

regards
custardchuk

[ScissorSista]

Arbiter, I wish to formally submit to the proceedings the following answers to custardchuk's questions:

Did she and Martin establish a "internet relationship" prior to or during the MOtBB's unbeknownst to custardchuk?.
It is true that martinburley and ScissorSista corresponded on a regular basis, either publicly on the bullboard or privately via personal messgaes. As for whether custardchuk knew...it wasn't any of his business as far as ScissorSista was concerned, so she didn't care whether he knew or not.

- In her opinion was that relationship more than "friendly"?
As ScissorSista had only just joined the bullboard martinburley was a damn sight more friendly than Master Roshambollah, who instantly called into question her womanhood and being 'real'...

I must say, this is probably the worst attempt by a man to pass as a woman since Klinger from M*A*S*H*.

It was through martinburley's caring and insightful messages that ScissorSista began to fall for his charms...

- Who initiated the relationship?
martinburley sent the first public message in response to ScissorSista's 'Hello all you boyz' posting of February 6th 2007. martinburley responded as follows, the same day..

Welcome, ScissorSista!  It's always good to see some new faces around here (especially when you look round at the old faces), and I see you're already making some interesting and amusing points. ("They're all jealous of you, Jef" - fantastic comment! )

ScissorSista no longer has the first personal message she sent to martinburley but martinburley's reponse was as follows:

Hi ScissorSista,
Are you back in the UK at the moment, or wandering the world in search of RPS secrets?

- During that relationship did she and Martin exchange tools and information in order to defeat custardchuk at RPS?
ScissorSista was employed at RPSOZ for a variety of administrative and other functions. After a hard day's work custardchuk and ScissorSista would have a best of 3 RPS 'game' to see who would fetch the refreshing beers from the office fridge. Having consistently lost to such a Legend as custardchuk she was in the unenviable position of almost having "beer slave" tattoed on her forehead. Whilst searching the many and varied threads on the bullboard ScissorSista came across martinburley's RPS Analyser. ScissorSista was instantly intrigued and clicked merrily on the hyperlink to lead her out of her servitude...the link no longer worked so ScissorSista approached martinburley via pm to get a copy. Martinburley was most accommodating and supplied her with an updated, modified version of the said software. However, the software was supplied with data (available freely online) of custardchuk's previous RPS matches...2004 and 2007 - versus The Saint and martinburley. Thus although ScissorSista was seeking tools and information in order to defeat custardchuk (for RPSOZ beer 'hunting and gathering' purposes) it would seem the hard graft had already been done.

- Was ScissorSista aware that Martin was already in a relationship with another person, as he claims, and did Martin make any attempt to make this clear to ScissorSista, as he also claims?
ScissorSista was not aware that martinburley was in another relationship, nor did martinburley ever make this clear to ScissorSista whilst she happily corresponded away...sweet thoughts filling her (obviously naive) head.

- Does ScissorSista acknowledge the conversations as exposed in transcripts by Al Thorn, actually occured?
Yes, they did occur.

- Does she believe there is anything in the transcripts that was not uttered?
One of the sections of the transcripts was from a pm between ScissorSista and Master Roshambollah and not martinburley.

No worries babe. He's just popped out for an hour or so. He was beginning to think…...

- Did Martin boast to ScissorSista of his subversion of other sporting clubs?
Yes his second pm included the following...

Yep, this fits in perfectly with RPS numerology. My name has 4 Scissors, 3 Paper and 2 Rock, suggesting I'm quietly sneaky. Does that give a clue as to what I was doing in 1998-9? I was subverting the chess club from within.

- Did her relationship with Martin change after publication of the transcripts. If so, how?
Quite simply he dropped ScissorSista like a proverbial 'hot potato'.

- Did ScissorSista receive payment in goods or kind from anyone to speak out? If not, what was her motivation for speaking out?
The RPS Chronicle did not pay any discernible recompense. ScissorSista received the princely sum of AUD$2.47, which does not cover the initial telephone costs of talking to the journalist. ScissorSista was fed up to the back teeth of all the nasty accusations flying from RPSOZ and RPSNZ and just wanted to clear her name, no more.

- Could she describe her relationship with 'Kelly' (not her real name)?
As this is a family website ScissorSista will refrain from utilising her preferred description of this person in question. Suffice to say that if she calls, texts, emails or comes within 500m of ScissorSista she will be incarcerated and ScissorSista will be much happier and free from the bonds of a 'stalker'.

- Does ScissorSista believe Martin 'used' her to further his ambition to destroy custardchuk and subvert the MotBB?
martinburley obviously 'used' ScissorSista for his own ends. He knew ScissorSista had put him on the highest of pedestals and worshipped every posting and pm. Only now does she realise how foolish she was. ScissorSista cannot say if it was her personal messages that were accessed or not, but can state that she did not give her permission. She has her suspicions though...

- Does ScissorSista believe she was 'cheated' by Martin?
ScissorSista beleives she was 'cheated on' by martinburley, who cast aside her obvious love like an old sock.

- What is her relationship with Martin now?
Apart from answering the occasional public bullboard query ScissorSista has received no correspondence from martinburley with the exception of the following pm last week...

ScissorSista,

If only there was a way to get my dignity back....

Perhaps if you ask the RPS Chronicle nicely, they'll agree to sell it back to you.

Arbiter, I have been left feeling naive, foolish, ashamed and I find myself in an undesirable place, i.e. playing 'piggy in the middle' between RPSOZ and RPSNZ. I just want this whole awful, awful occurence behind me so I can get on with my rock, paper, scissors playing life. That's not too much to ask is it...

Kindest regards
ScissorSista

[custardchuk]

I thank ScissorSista for her candour.

Arbiter, it has come to my attention that Burley is posting inflamatory comments designed to harangue and needle me, and then deleting before North American business hours. I have been concerned that he is consistantly flouting the guidelines set down for this mediation, but I have held my tongue. I figured you will make of it what you will. I cannot any longer, however, because this behaviour is surreptitious and underhanded and would otherwise go unnoticed. This is the way he operates.

In another point of order, in direct contravention of your instruction to keep all matters pertaining to this arbitration confined to this thread he has commenced another thread that he is using to promote his own agenda, and I quote:

it's important for the smaller nations in the Pacific Rim region to stand up against the bully-boy tactics of RPSOZ.

Whether or not the above post is still here tomorrow, I ask you to ask him to show a little respect for your instructions and this forum. I'm not holding my breath that it will make any difference.

regards
custardchuk

[martinburley]

Arbiter, I also thank ScissorSista for her enlightening answers.

Just to confirm, I've no further material witnesses to call on. I don't think custardchuk does either.

I've prepared my questions and I'm ready to cross-examine ScissorSista once you declare that stage of proceedings open.

Regards,

martinburley

[martinburley]

Arbiter, the post that custardchuk quotes was not my remark. It was a direct quote from a press conference given by a representative of RPSPhil (the Philippines' branch of the RPS Society), a conference that was about an RPSPhil/RPSNZ joint initiative. Custardchuk seems to think that the quote refers to RPSOZ's actions in the current case.

I'm not sure why he thinks that people would accuse RPSOZ of 'bully-boy tactics' in regards to the allegations, implications, aspersions and defamations levelled against me, but presumably he has his reasons.

RPSNZ and RPSPhil agreed on several motives for establishing the joint initiative, and these motives were set in writing well before the MotBB tournament (I can provide minutes from those meetings if necessary), although the accord was only finalised recently. The 'bully-boy tactics of RPSOZ' that the RPSPhil representative alluded to refer to some of RPSOZ's past actions in the regional RPS sphere.

I won't list those controversies here since they're irrelevant to the case at hand. Those who are interested can refer to the book "Dunnies, Dunces, and Skulduggery: A History of RPSOZ" by Vince O'Malley, especially chapters 1, 3, and 6-8.
 

[martinburley]

Arbiter, it has come to my attention that Burley is posting inflamatory comments designed to harangue and needle me, and then deleting before North American business hours. I have been concerned that he is consistantly flouting the guidelines set down for this mediation, but I have held my tongue. I figured you will make of it what you will. I cannot any longer, however, because this behaviour is surreptitious and underhanded and would otherwise go unnoticed. This is the way he operates.

Arbiter, when I came into my office this evening (to respond to the press interest surrounding the RPSNZ/RPSPhil joint initiative), I checked the Bullboard for new posts, as is my custom. Imagine my horror to find that 'I' had posted a message to this topic, sniping at custardchuk. I posted no such message - my account had been hacked!

I took immediate action, deleting the offending message from the Bullboard, and then summoning RPSNZ's team of computer experts to try to identify the source of the security breach. They have just got back to me with the news that a keystroke logger was remotely installed onto the RPSNZ computer system sometime in the past six hours (that was the time of our previous system backup, which shows no record of the logger). The hacker used this piece of malware to gather passwords, including my password to this site.

I hoped that we would be able to identify who the devious, unscrupulous hacker/poster was. Our computer experts managed to trace the hacker's electronic path as far as a re-router in Tasmania. Unfortunately, the hacker had used an anonymous connection to that computer, so we could not identify the ultimate source.

The security breach has now been repaired, and all RPSNZ staff have changed all their passwords. I have instructed the security team to make hourly, rather than daily, system security checks from now on.

For the record, the fake post was this:

Arbiter, I would ask that you offer ScissorSista some protection from Burley during this process. She has already suffered anough at his hands and reliving the heartbreak will be difficult enough without Burley sniping at her.

Very droll.

Anyone who knows me well would know that I would never resort to needling custardchuk in such a manner. In any case, why would I need to, when my defense is proceeding entirely according to plan?

I'm saddened that someone would go to the effort of hacking into RPSNZ's systems in order to try to bring my defense into disrepute in this way. I can only reiterate my willingness to abide by the letter, and the spirit, of this mediation.

I trust this response to custardchuk's post has clarified matters to your, and custardchuk's satisfaction.

Sincerely,

martinburley

[custardchuk]

Mmmmm....
Sounds like the dog ate your homework again, Martin.


I have no further witnesses to call.

I would ask that a last piece of evidence be considered.

That is: The odd's of the match results occurring as they did.

I am far from a mathematics wizard so perhaps Martin could assist the enquiry on this.

What are the odds of a good player (as opposed to a computer) playing sixteen throws without a win?Further, what are the odds of such an abberation occuring in a specific game, such as a Group 1 Final as opposed to any random tournament game.

I trust Martin will assist.

regards
custardchuk