Posted ByRPS News Service on February 23, 2002 at 17:40:11:
After an incredible three weeks of intense intellectual and athletic competition, the RPS PanAm Games came to a conclusion today. The competition was fierce, but in the end only one player could walk away the winner. Following is a recap of today's exciting games.
"A" Bracket, Round 1
Simpson vs Josh: This had to have been one of the greatest strategic matches of the entire PanAm Games. Simpson immediately goes up in the first throw, by snipping Josh's initial paper. This could have been Josh "testing the waters", as two rounds of zone play are followed by an inversion of the first throw. Josh immediately establishes an alternating Paper rhythm, and Simpson responds by four back-to-back papers. With Josh threatening Bureaucrat, Simpson smartly switches to Scissors. Incredibly, this was a fake, as Josh instead switches to Rock, breaking the alt-paper rhythm, and winning the round, 2-1-4 (Win-Loss-Tie). Josh:PRPSPPR Simpson:SRPPPPS
Arbiter vs Simon "Good Times" Watson Jr: Chalk up another victory for the forces of sobriety, as Arbiter walks away with this one, 2-0-0. Using his trademark Double Scissors opening, Arbiter here wins with one of only 13 perfect games of the whole PanAm Games, and the only one on this last day. After the match, Good Times complained bitterly that he had not been ready to throw, merely offering a "high five" to Arbiter. However, the judges ruled Good Times' high fives, delivered after a lurching but definite prime, to have been legal. Arbiter:SS Good Times:PP
"B" Bracket, Round One
Freddy Flambe vs Frito Forte: The "Battle of the Double F's" as this one was being hailed, was an intense, if not lengthy display. After an initial tied round, Forte goes one up, then two, winning with a Paper. True to his word, Forte makes use of the Games' liberal "ritualizing the win" policy to deliver a stunning roundhouse smack to the head and face of Freddy Flambe. Freddy was taken to a local hospital, where he was treated for a mild concussion. When interviewed by the RPS News Service, Freddy expressed disapointment with his performance, but said that he indeed enjoyed the experience, and that he'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Forte wins, 2-0-2 Forte:RSPP Flambe:RPPR
C. Urbanus vs Bill Helfer: This game had immediate parallels to the last time these modern day RPS aspirants met. Again, Helfer led with SP, and Urbanus led with PS, threatening Crescendo. A two round battle of nerves took place, with both players in the Zone. Eventually, Urbanus wins with an Avalanche, and advances to the next round. 2-1-2, Urbanus:PSRRR Helfer SPRRS
ROUND TWO
"A" Bracket Finals: This battle, pitting a ranking Media Brigade officer against a lowly intern begins with Arbiter making mincemeat of Josh's Paper Opener. Again, Josh begins his alternating Paper rhythm, matching Arbiter in Zone Play, and winning a round in the fourth. Obviously catching on to this simple strategy, Arbiter counters with an alt-paper of his own, clearly attempting to win in the off-Zone rounds. Surprisingly, Josh abandons his alternating Paper with a 7th round scissors that catches Arbiter completely by surprise! Final score gives Josh the edge, 2-1-4. Josh:PSPRPRS Arbiter:SSPSPRP
"B" Bracket This battle begins with Urbanus solemnly vowing to avenge the striking of Freddy Flambe. Urbanus comes out swinging with Scissors, finding fertile soil in Forte's initial Paper. After a tie, Forte comes back with a well-timed Rock for a win. Seeking to avoid the almost certain devastation that losing to another Rock would bring, Urbanus next chooses Paper. Craftily, he makes use of "vertical paper", but to no avail, as Forte casts a steely Scissors, ritualizing the win simultaneously by jamming both fingers into the underside of Urbanus' wrist. Urbanus was examined by medical attendants at the Games, and though his injuries are not career threatening, he will probably be unable to play for the next month or two. Victory Forte: 2-1-1. Forte:PRRS Urbanus:SRSP
FINALS: This match pitted the hardened pro against the green newcomer, as Frito Forte faced Josh. Surprisingly, this exchange opens with matched scissors, then an early round won by Josh, who again establishes his alternating paper rhythm. Zone Play alternates with a round won by Forte, who shows all signs of closing in the for the kill. With Josh again threatening Bureaucrat, Forte slips in Scissors. Yet again, Josh has used the alt-paper rhythm to his advantage, and switches to a resounding Rock, which wins the match, and the championship! With the winning Rock held high above his head, Josh soaks in the crowd's approval. Then, looking over his shoulder at the crestfallen Forte looking unbelievingly at his losing Scissors, Josh does the unthinkable. With all his might, Josh leaps up into the air, bringing down his Rock with a resounding slam onto the prone Scissors of Forte. An X-Ray and examination later showed extensive breaking in the carpals and metacarpals of Forte's hand, and several torn ligaments. It is doubtful that Forte will ever be able to use the hand in competition again.
A record crowd went on to cheer Josh, as the 2002 PanAm RPS Champ. His "I am a Panamanian" victory speech was hailed by all, and he gained much acclaim for putting Forte out of competitive play. "This guy had been breaking people's hands and beating them up all over South America" Josh said. "This is a victory for the people." When asked about his strategy for the finals, he noted "Well, I had been toying around with an alternating paper strategy, mainly to annoy Arbiter, whom I intern under. Surprisingly, for the situations I faced today, it proved useful. It's all about knowing when to break the rhythm. And of course, my Rock victory in the Finals was to celebrate 2002 as being the Official Year of the Rock."
In related PanAm news, the Ethics Commissioner of the PanAm Games called allegations against the Bull Board Barons "Complete and utter nonsense." Giving a speech in both Spanish and English, the EC noted "The claims that the Bull Board Barons posted strategic information specifically to mislead others is ridiculous. And even if they did, this is no more ethically wrong than saying "I'm going to throw Rock" to an opponent before the first prime. The mind games here are all part of the strategy, and a "metagame" strategy would be completely appropriate." The Barons maintained their innocence, and claimed that their strategic discussions on the Bull Board are "vital discussions on refining and expanding strategic options in the sport of RPS." All suspicions against them have been dropped.
As evening approaches, and Josh celebrates his bye to the World Championships, the News Service takes leave of Panama. Congratulations to all who attended, and thanks for making the PanAm 2002 Games the best Games ever.